Can you believe that traveling the world as a nanny overwhelmed me and I ended up losing my identity? Having the opportunity to visit other countries sounds like a dream. Being able to work from home and doing easy tasks sound like a dream. Those dreams sort of backfired on me, and I had to pick up the pieces on my own.
We ask for these amazing opportunities to come into our lives, then they come and they can turn your world upside down. So what do you do when you have detached from the world, created your own little cave, and hibernated in it for a longer time than you wanted?
You crave. However the craving isn’t specific, like it used to be. You used to know EXACTLY what you wanted. You wanted the specific job, you wanted to live in this specific state and city, you wanted to date a guy like him.
Now that you’ve been in this cave, you have this urgency to do things, say things, and go to places…but don’t know what that thing is you need to do, what that thing is you need to say, or what the place is that you need to go.
Oh and it burns. You have all this fire in you, and you do not know how to extinguish it.
Yo, Harper, what does me living in a figurative cave have to do with finding who I am again?
One of the gifts and curses of life is not knowing what is ahead of us. A lot of us like to be prepared before we take action. We have to know that what we are putting effort into is a solid lead and not a waste of time. However, we tend to waste time by waiting on a sign that it’s ok to make a move in life.
That’s not going to work. In order to begin to pull yourself together and find who you are…you have to step out on blind faith.
We have to have some sort of faith in something working out for you. We have to trust ourselves a little to know that if something doesn’t work out…its not the end of the world…until it’s the end of the world. We can’t keep waiting on “the right time”. What I mean by that is…if you want to move but you don’t know where, you can’t dwell in the fact that you don’t know where to go and when to go. You’re going to have to move to the next easiest thing on the list…like working at the coffee shop up the street until things make more sense.
To find yourself, it’s going to take levels. I know you want to wake up in the morning and be the person you see in your dreams, but it’s going to take levels. Finding who you are again is like taking on a weight challenge. You don’t lose or gain the weight you want overnight. It takes MONTHS. Depending on how far gone you are…it could take years. It takes time and effort to blossom into the being you know you can be. You will have to start easy on yourself. For example, you’re probably itching for a new career, but you’re scared of change and of not liking what you do and having to start all over again! So, start easy on yourself. Try some smaller positions. Talk to people. Read some books. Take some courses. Work your way up and beautiful things will unfold. Follow the little hunches you have inside. No matter how meaningless they seem. Those little internal hunches are directing you to your truth.
It’s going to take stepping out of the box a little. Maybe you have been reading a lot of self-help books, watching a lot of inspirational videos on YouTube and they make the transition to inner “peace” seem super easy. Sometimes you can get addicted to the videos and the books and your life still looks the same a year later. Maybe it’s time to put down the books and cut off the videos, and play. Read a fiction novel. Heck, write a fiction novel! What are your hunches saying? Go to the store and buy some paper and paint? Take a moment to write down your first hunch.
Think about the days you were younger. What was a defining moment in your life? Where you felt proud to be you? One moment for me was junior year of high school where I auditioned for the high school musical. I sang “Ben” by Michael Jackson. I remember practicing singing in the living room to the karaoke version and going to the audition nervous! You don’t sing the whole song when you audition, but in my special case…I had to sing my song in its entirety. My best friend at the time ran and told my mom I had the voice of an angel. That meant so much to me because I love to sing, but I am too damn shy! I was so proud of myself!
Did that moment involve a Dr. Phil book or a Tony Robins video? No. The learning material is great, but sometimes you have to put down the books and go live some life in order to let it really lock into you.
Last, but not least, it will take some sacrifice. You will have to let go of some things that you find comfortable, but are holding you back. This could be certain actions, or certain people. It’s scary and it’s hard…but the goal here is to live life with little to no regrets.
So let’s sum this up:
– You have to have some faith in yourself and in your journey.
– You will find pieces of yourself in levels, finding yourself is a development and it takes time.
– Step outside of the box. Have as much fun as you can or do something different so that you won’t dwell on what’s not in your life.
– Let go: Sacrifice what isn’t moving you forward in life.
What little hunches do you have that you are ignoring, but are going to implement in your life this week? For me, it is joining a dance class! Tell me in the comments what hunch you are going to listen to and make happen this week?